The death count has already climbed to close to 47,000 people: mothers fathers brothers sisters aunts uncles nieces nephews children...real people.
A close friend of mine has the symptoms and is “presumed positive” by the health department but after weeks of trying still hasn’t been able to get tested. Everyone in her house feels sick and likely also has it. The ER told her to stay home despite the fact that her primary care doctor recommended her going to there. Apparently if you can still breathe a little on your own you're good. She also worries about the cost. I don’t know what to tell her. Forget her pre-existing conditions (plural), yeah, she’ll be fine. You won’t believe how fine she’ll be!
Some day, karma will catch you, President Trump, I just hope I live long enough to see it.
Thursday, April 23, 2020
Sunday, April 19, 2020
COVID-19 An Account April 19,2020
It’s 2:00am and as usual I’m having a difficult time sleeping. I feel like if I’m not completely exhausted I’ll just toss and turn all night.
The last time I wrote, the death toll was around 26,000. Now only a few days later it’s up around 34,000. Still there are people understating the facts. They say things like there are this many people who die of lung cancer every year and we don’t shut everything down; and this many people drown in pool accidents etc. but most of the things they talk about are not brand new highly contagious viruses with no known treatment or cure. Apples to bulldogs, right? Now there are protesters who say their rights are being violated and the state governments have no right to compel people to stay at home. I understand. Had this happened 30 years ago, I would have had an incredibly difficult time. At that point I was living paycheck to paycheck and barely that. Losing my job would have been devastating. I currently have a lot of friends who are really struggling. The government has approved $1200.00 to every citizen to help, but for many that won’t go very far. I understand people wanting to go back to work and begin getting a paycheck again, but not being careful in the process could have horrible consequences. I feel like it will extend the effects of the virus even longer. The protesters don’t understand that the countries that have fared better were extremely strict with their “stay at home” orders. I saw a documentary where the police in China were literally welding doors shut of people who violated the orders. Victims of COVID19 were being forcibly dragged away to be quarantined. Here in the USA, we don’t do that sort of thing. People would be up in arms! We do have freedom, but some are not being smart about social distancing or even wearing masks. The whole thing will be prolonged if we're not adamant.
There are also those who figure a certain amount of casualties is acceptable, but um, NO! No one should die for someone else’s convenience. It's hard for everyone. We need to remember our humanity. Please.
The last time I wrote, the death toll was around 26,000. Now only a few days later it’s up around 34,000. Still there are people understating the facts. They say things like there are this many people who die of lung cancer every year and we don’t shut everything down; and this many people drown in pool accidents etc. but most of the things they talk about are not brand new highly contagious viruses with no known treatment or cure. Apples to bulldogs, right? Now there are protesters who say their rights are being violated and the state governments have no right to compel people to stay at home. I understand. Had this happened 30 years ago, I would have had an incredibly difficult time. At that point I was living paycheck to paycheck and barely that. Losing my job would have been devastating. I currently have a lot of friends who are really struggling. The government has approved $1200.00 to every citizen to help, but for many that won’t go very far. I understand people wanting to go back to work and begin getting a paycheck again, but not being careful in the process could have horrible consequences. I feel like it will extend the effects of the virus even longer. The protesters don’t understand that the countries that have fared better were extremely strict with their “stay at home” orders. I saw a documentary where the police in China were literally welding doors shut of people who violated the orders. Victims of COVID19 were being forcibly dragged away to be quarantined. Here in the USA, we don’t do that sort of thing. People would be up in arms! We do have freedom, but some are not being smart about social distancing or even wearing masks. The whole thing will be prolonged if we're not adamant.
There are also those who figure a certain amount of casualties is acceptable, but um, NO! No one should die for someone else’s convenience. It's hard for everyone. We need to remember our humanity. Please.
Wednesday, April 15, 2020
COVID-19 An Account, April 14, 2020
Hello, sorry it's been a few days. The last few days have been surprisingly busy. was actually able to see a few people, with masks, outside and like 10 feet away, but still, friendly faces are nice to see in person. My daughters and their babies have been having fun talking with Bill and I on Messenger. We discovered that there are filters to change your face, or picture you with a puppy on your head etc. The boys (our grandsons) especially love a game where little hamburgers pop up and you try and catch them in your mouth. the more you catch, the chubbier your cheeks start looking. It's hilarious. I wonder it they are trying to get a message across?
I've been trying to look for those jewel moments that make me smile, the ones that make me forget for a few glorious minutes. My mind escapes from all things medical, except for worrying about my cheeks getting bigger (which, ironically, is how you win). The boys giggle and laugh uncontrollably and that...is the sweetest sound in the world.
I've been also attempting to limit myself to shorten the time spent watching the news. It just depresses me. I did however watch a recent COVID-19 press conference, when I heard President Trump claim that as the President, his authority was "absolute". When a FOX reporter said basically, no it's not, and asked who had told him that, he attacked her saying that her question was "horrid". Wow. Are GOP senators, representatives, etc. okay with this? Another newscaster continued the same line of questioning, and deploying his signature move, Donald Trump shut the reporter down. Trump is a master of pushing away the press, getting riled up and defensive instead of answering the questions posed. Again, I don't believe everything I hear the news stations say, but I listen to the things that come out of his mouth, and not just the snippets the media chooses. I hear them in the full context of the entire news conference. I watch him picking fights with people and ignoring the hard issues. When that doesn't work he brings up the impeachment "hoax". I think it's funny that he used that same word when talking about the Corona Virus earlier this year. Apparently that's as much of a hoax as the impeachment. Currently, as of yesterday the death toll in the US is almost 26,000 people. Some hoax. It's a shame that there are those who want him out so bad they are willing to lose hundreds of thousands of American citizens. Being among the higher risk population, I think I could think of better ways to push President Absolute from office. I'm not fond of the idea of dying.
I've been trying to look for those jewel moments that make me smile, the ones that make me forget for a few glorious minutes. My mind escapes from all things medical, except for worrying about my cheeks getting bigger (which, ironically, is how you win). The boys giggle and laugh uncontrollably and that...is the sweetest sound in the world.
I've been also attempting to limit myself to shorten the time spent watching the news. It just depresses me. I did however watch a recent COVID-19 press conference, when I heard President Trump claim that as the President, his authority was "absolute". When a FOX reporter said basically, no it's not, and asked who had told him that, he attacked her saying that her question was "horrid". Wow. Are GOP senators, representatives, etc. okay with this? Another newscaster continued the same line of questioning, and deploying his signature move, Donald Trump shut the reporter down. Trump is a master of pushing away the press, getting riled up and defensive instead of answering the questions posed. Again, I don't believe everything I hear the news stations say, but I listen to the things that come out of his mouth, and not just the snippets the media chooses. I hear them in the full context of the entire news conference. I watch him picking fights with people and ignoring the hard issues. When that doesn't work he brings up the impeachment "hoax". I think it's funny that he used that same word when talking about the Corona Virus earlier this year. Apparently that's as much of a hoax as the impeachment. Currently, as of yesterday the death toll in the US is almost 26,000 people. Some hoax. It's a shame that there are those who want him out so bad they are willing to lose hundreds of thousands of American citizens. Being among the higher risk population, I think I could think of better ways to push President Absolute from office. I'm not fond of the idea of dying.
Friday, April 10, 2020
COVID-19 An Account April 10, 2020
As though it's not enough to be trying to stay inside, it has to rain too. Don't get me wrong. I love the rain. I think it's just the sky being grey. I lose all track of time. It seems like 7:00am all day. I've been keeping busy, and things are not all that different for me to be honest. I think it's just the not being allowed to spend time outside or with your family or friends. You never really appreciate something until it's taken away, right? Freedom is never more valued until it's been removed from your life. I feel fortunate that I have my home and food when I know others are struggling. I just hope this doesn't actually last a year and a half like the experts are saying it might; that they are giving us the worst case scenario, but it will really be much less time.
They extended the "Shelter in Place" end date to May 15 (I think that's the date) not that I think we will be able to venture out much by then, It hasn't even really hit our area yet. There are cases. Just a few, but then that's how it always starts, I expect it will get much worse before the coast will be clear.
I just deleted a whole section of my writing because I realized I was ranting again. I don't want to always be doing that. Today, I'm just thankful for the rain. I'm in California. Rain is a good thing.
They extended the "Shelter in Place" end date to May 15 (I think that's the date) not that I think we will be able to venture out much by then, It hasn't even really hit our area yet. There are cases. Just a few, but then that's how it always starts, I expect it will get much worse before the coast will be clear.
I just deleted a whole section of my writing because I realized I was ranting again. I don't want to always be doing that. Today, I'm just thankful for the rain. I'm in California. Rain is a good thing.
Wednesday, April 8, 2020
COVID-19 An Account April 8, 2020
Well, things are very different during this whole health crisis. It's so hard not talking to my family, but we recently figured out a way to all get together. Unfortunately my two sons are both in essential jobs, so it's difficult to schedule time for group calls. Still I do get to see my grand-babies, at least. I know how fast they grow up at this age (they're both 3), and I wish I didn't have to miss so much of it. So every day we go onto Messenger and do a group call. So now I've been able to see almost all my kids, which makes me happy.
I have started to alternate my YouTube viewings. I watch the news for a while, and then I switch to something funny like old "Saturday Night Live" shows, or a travel vlog, This keeps me sane.
I have other worries, like a doctor's appointment next week with a new neurologist. We recently lost our insurance and had to get new insurance. All of my doctors are now not in network. It took me years to find the ones I had. Neurologists especially are difficult to find. It's not that they aren't out there, but in my experience, the majority of them are older, male, arrogant jerks with no bedside manner, and even less compassion. They think they know everything about me and my body, so just "do what I say", they tell me. No explanation, no reasons why I should. I am an idiot, and he's the guy with the M.D. after his name so what's my problem? I had finally found one I liked and trusted, mostly. (Honestly I trust very few doctors in general.)
I had to start again, and I didn't even get to pick really. It's an HMO, so I had to go to a new Primary Care Physician, who I just met, to give me a referral for a new neurologist. This would be a stressful situation without the added complication of COVID-19. If I wasn't on medications that have to be refilled, I'd probably just wait.
Anywho, I've been trying to meditate, to keep my mind off things, but always it sneaks back in. I hope you all are hanging in there. It's important that we do.
I have started to alternate my YouTube viewings. I watch the news for a while, and then I switch to something funny like old "Saturday Night Live" shows, or a travel vlog, This keeps me sane.
I have other worries, like a doctor's appointment next week with a new neurologist. We recently lost our insurance and had to get new insurance. All of my doctors are now not in network. It took me years to find the ones I had. Neurologists especially are difficult to find. It's not that they aren't out there, but in my experience, the majority of them are older, male, arrogant jerks with no bedside manner, and even less compassion. They think they know everything about me and my body, so just "do what I say", they tell me. No explanation, no reasons why I should. I am an idiot, and he's the guy with the M.D. after his name so what's my problem? I had finally found one I liked and trusted, mostly. (Honestly I trust very few doctors in general.)
I had to start again, and I didn't even get to pick really. It's an HMO, so I had to go to a new Primary Care Physician, who I just met, to give me a referral for a new neurologist. This would be a stressful situation without the added complication of COVID-19. If I wasn't on medications that have to be refilled, I'd probably just wait.
Anywho, I've been trying to meditate, to keep my mind off things, but always it sneaks back in. I hope you all are hanging in there. It's important that we do.
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| Having fun with filters. |
Sunday, April 5, 2020
COVID-19 An Account April 5, 2020
I just can't listen to him anymore. His lies are so obvious. He tells the American people that everything is under control, and it is clearly not. New York is running out of ventilators after Trump decided there weren't as many needed as was requested. Taking the word of Jared Kushner who has NO experience in anything related to a pandemic. If it's thought that the request was over estimated, than experts should have been consulted as to what actually was needed. People are dying. How many times must it be said? Isn't it better to have more than you need than to have people dying needlessly?
Speaking of dying needlessly, there are churches (pastors, ministers, etc.) compelling their congregations to attend during all this, even going so far as laying hands and other physical practices. I'm not saying that I don't believe that God could protect them, but I do believe that if God gives you doctors, scientists and leaders who are warning you not to go out and gather in groups, than maybe you should listen. It's like that story when a man is stranded in the middle of the ocean. He prays to God "Save me! I know you will save me, I have faith in you." A boat goes by and the man says "I'm okay! God is going to save me!" An airplane and a helicopter go by and he says the same thing. After a while the man prays "God, why have you not saved me?" and God answered: "I sent you a boat, an airplane and a helicopter and you turned them away!" God is telling you to listen to the experts. He will still listen when you're not at church. Your faith is in your heart, not in a building.
The problem is that some people, and there is no effort to change this, believe that President Trump was sent from God, that he is "the chosen one". These are Trump's words. This is a man who has been married several times, has been unfaithful to at least some of those wives, who says things like "You can grab them by the p#&%$" in regards to women. He is someone who lies on a regular basis (this has been fact checked) and clearly thinks of himself above all others. He has no humility or even an ounce of humanity. He's totally okay with separating children from their parents/families. He's clearly racist, homophobic and misogynistic. This is their "chosen one"? Wow. Good luck with that. I have tried not to call names because I know that I have friends and even family members who support Donald Trump. I try and respect everyone's opinion, but the Republican Party is out of control. Their greed is overwhelming. I watch as the rich get richer and the rest of us pay for it. How much do you need before you stop grabbing it from others? It all makes no sense to me. The people I know who are the most kind hearted and generous, are usually the ones who don't have very much. It's a sacrifice to give to others and yet they still do. The rich hold on to their money like an oyster, clamping down to protect it's pearl, but someday, someone will pry them open. I kinda' feel sorry for what's coming for them...kinda'.
Meanwhile our president takes "no responsibility" for anything, not his delay in responding, nor his incompetence in getting much needed supplies to hospitals all over our country. He keeps claiming he's doing a great job, as more people die every day. The federal government is not a "shipping clerk" and they are only a "back up". Um, no. Once you've announced a "National Emergency" it's YOUR job to make sure the states have what they need. It's your job to coordinate getting the word out, to secure supplies, distribute those supplies, and listen to the experts for guidance. WE PAY YOU! You are supposed to put the American people FIRST. Get over yourself and do your job Mr. Trump. Now.
Thank you to the Mayfair Monsoons Marching Corps for this image.
Speaking of dying needlessly, there are churches (pastors, ministers, etc.) compelling their congregations to attend during all this, even going so far as laying hands and other physical practices. I'm not saying that I don't believe that God could protect them, but I do believe that if God gives you doctors, scientists and leaders who are warning you not to go out and gather in groups, than maybe you should listen. It's like that story when a man is stranded in the middle of the ocean. He prays to God "Save me! I know you will save me, I have faith in you." A boat goes by and the man says "I'm okay! God is going to save me!" An airplane and a helicopter go by and he says the same thing. After a while the man prays "God, why have you not saved me?" and God answered: "I sent you a boat, an airplane and a helicopter and you turned them away!" God is telling you to listen to the experts. He will still listen when you're not at church. Your faith is in your heart, not in a building.
The problem is that some people, and there is no effort to change this, believe that President Trump was sent from God, that he is "the chosen one". These are Trump's words. This is a man who has been married several times, has been unfaithful to at least some of those wives, who says things like "You can grab them by the p#&%$" in regards to women. He is someone who lies on a regular basis (this has been fact checked) and clearly thinks of himself above all others. He has no humility or even an ounce of humanity. He's totally okay with separating children from their parents/families. He's clearly racist, homophobic and misogynistic. This is their "chosen one"? Wow. Good luck with that. I have tried not to call names because I know that I have friends and even family members who support Donald Trump. I try and respect everyone's opinion, but the Republican Party is out of control. Their greed is overwhelming. I watch as the rich get richer and the rest of us pay for it. How much do you need before you stop grabbing it from others? It all makes no sense to me. The people I know who are the most kind hearted and generous, are usually the ones who don't have very much. It's a sacrifice to give to others and yet they still do. The rich hold on to their money like an oyster, clamping down to protect it's pearl, but someday, someone will pry them open. I kinda' feel sorry for what's coming for them...kinda'.
Meanwhile our president takes "no responsibility" for anything, not his delay in responding, nor his incompetence in getting much needed supplies to hospitals all over our country. He keeps claiming he's doing a great job, as more people die every day. The federal government is not a "shipping clerk" and they are only a "back up". Um, no. Once you've announced a "National Emergency" it's YOUR job to make sure the states have what they need. It's your job to coordinate getting the word out, to secure supplies, distribute those supplies, and listen to the experts for guidance. WE PAY YOU! You are supposed to put the American people FIRST. Get over yourself and do your job Mr. Trump. Now.
Thank you to the Mayfair Monsoons Marching Corps for this image.
Friday, April 3, 2020
COVID-19 An Account April 3, 2020
Today I was able to see my brother in law and my niece. They were picking up an extra bed we had (a twin bed from one of the kids). It was nice but awkward while we tried to load up the bed without touching or even getting too close. My whole family is very physically affectionate. It's automatic to hug each other every time we get together. Now we have to do "air hugs". Not quite the same.
My older brother (out of five) called me to let me know he was safely home from his trip to Thailand. He and his wife were visiting her family. He was saying they really expected when they landed in the US that they would be delayed by officials taking their temperature or questioning them. Nope. They just glided on through. They were stuck in line at one point, with people right next to each other. Now that's just great, right? His wife was nervous after being in Thailand. There, pretty much everywhere you go they take your temperature before you can enter any establishment. At one point they were worried that they were going to be quarantined for two weeks! That really would have put a damper on their trip. Of course when they got home and people were wondering around as though nothing was wrong, they were a little surprised. My brother said the roads were a little less crowded, but nothing like Bangkok, normally a bustling jam packed metropolis which is now empty. Why are people not paying attention? This is a scary disease! You may not care if you get it (and you should, because even strong healthy people are ending up in the ICU) at least think about your loved ones.
Meanwhile, the cases in my neighborhood continue to increase. The hospitals still don't have ventilators or PPE. The federal government got their hands on some masks and/or gloves recently and people were excited until they learned that it was to be released to commercial distributors. What??? Doctors, nurses and hospital staff are BEGGING for these things. Now we're back to states bidding against each other, as well as other countries and even the federal government itself! How f-ed up is that? Why is this even remotely okay? Why do we pay taxes? To make others richer? My tolerance level for stupid has been met and then some. They should call common sense "rare sense".
My older brother (out of five) called me to let me know he was safely home from his trip to Thailand. He and his wife were visiting her family. He was saying they really expected when they landed in the US that they would be delayed by officials taking their temperature or questioning them. Nope. They just glided on through. They were stuck in line at one point, with people right next to each other. Now that's just great, right? His wife was nervous after being in Thailand. There, pretty much everywhere you go they take your temperature before you can enter any establishment. At one point they were worried that they were going to be quarantined for two weeks! That really would have put a damper on their trip. Of course when they got home and people were wondering around as though nothing was wrong, they were a little surprised. My brother said the roads were a little less crowded, but nothing like Bangkok, normally a bustling jam packed metropolis which is now empty. Why are people not paying attention? This is a scary disease! You may not care if you get it (and you should, because even strong healthy people are ending up in the ICU) at least think about your loved ones.
Meanwhile, the cases in my neighborhood continue to increase. The hospitals still don't have ventilators or PPE. The federal government got their hands on some masks and/or gloves recently and people were excited until they learned that it was to be released to commercial distributors. What??? Doctors, nurses and hospital staff are BEGGING for these things. Now we're back to states bidding against each other, as well as other countries and even the federal government itself! How f-ed up is that? Why is this even remotely okay? Why do we pay taxes? To make others richer? My tolerance level for stupid has been met and then some. They should call common sense "rare sense".
Wednesday, April 1, 2020
COVID-19 An Account April 1,2020
Well, no poems yet, but I got the prompt and am working on something. It usually takes a few days to get myself in poeming form.
So what's happening on the COVID-19 front? Not much new sadly. I did see a report that stated the virus has more cases in my city, so that's...great. The governors of several states have been speaking up about their needs, some of them carefully speaking in order not to piss off his majesty. Apparently you must be "nice" to him in order to get the medical supplies you need. I saw someone on Facebook trying to defend him saying that some of us only look at the negative things and ignore anything positive. The problem in this particular situation is that people are DYING because he's being petty. People are dying because he shut down the Pandemic Task Force. That'll never happen right? Why waste money on something that's never going to happen? He tried to defend his earlier comments about the Corona Virus being no big deal, by saying. he was just trying to be positive, what's wrong with that? It's wrong because people took you at your word, and some STILL refuse to follow the stay at home guidelines and that endangers all of us. Apparently he was also trying to be positive when he turned down the World Health Organization's offer of testing kits. No, we can do it ourselves. We are the United States, after all. How'd that work out? Not all that well. "Anyone who wants to be tested can be tested," he said. That's not true either, even weeks now after he said it. As for me, I have to fight the feeling that I just want him to get COVID-19, because as bad a job as I think he's doing, I'm not like that; but every morning I wake up, usually around 4:00 in the morning, and I'm worried. I try deep breathing, meditation, scrolling through pictures of my grandsons, anything to stave away the fear. Nothing works. I imagine myself going to the hospital with no chance to say goodbye to my kids, grand-kids, mom, brothers, sisters, friends...and I never come home. I wouldn't be the first, or the last.
It's not Donald Trump's fault that this virus exists or even that it's spreading around the world. It is his fault that for too long, he ignored the experts. It is his fault that he's more excited about the ratings of his news conferences, than he is about doing his job; and it is his fault that people are dying because of his lies and his wanting to be "positive" at a time when he should have been preparing the people in this country about what was coming. Maybe you think I'm just listening to the "liberal news", and believing all the hoaxes and lies. Nope. I actually fact check. I listen to his whole speeches, not just sound bites. I hear what is coming out of his mouth and I look up his tweets to make sure someone isn't just saying those are his words. I see him bash people that he doesn't like and try to intimidate people with those tweets, and with his own words. He abuses his power by silencing reporters and then announcing that what they are asking is fake news, all the while refusing to answer the important questions. He keeps bringing up the impeachment as a hoax when he was the one who refused to release witnesses and documents. If someone is innocent, why would they be concerned about witnesses? His minions voted against removal so he thinks he's won. That's not winning. That's cheating. He fired people who spoke out against him. That's not a president, that's a dictator. If you're thinking I'm making all this up, than do a little homework. Watch another news channel. Better yet, watch a news channel from another country, They have no "agenda" to make the president look bad. They just tell it like they see it. Maybe you aren't afraid EVERY DAY that you are going to die, and die suffocating, in pain...alone because of his pettiness and incompetence.
I am.
Suddenly I'm inspired to write my poem. What do ya' know?
So what's happening on the COVID-19 front? Not much new sadly. I did see a report that stated the virus has more cases in my city, so that's...great. The governors of several states have been speaking up about their needs, some of them carefully speaking in order not to piss off his majesty. Apparently you must be "nice" to him in order to get the medical supplies you need. I saw someone on Facebook trying to defend him saying that some of us only look at the negative things and ignore anything positive. The problem in this particular situation is that people are DYING because he's being petty. People are dying because he shut down the Pandemic Task Force. That'll never happen right? Why waste money on something that's never going to happen? He tried to defend his earlier comments about the Corona Virus being no big deal, by saying. he was just trying to be positive, what's wrong with that? It's wrong because people took you at your word, and some STILL refuse to follow the stay at home guidelines and that endangers all of us. Apparently he was also trying to be positive when he turned down the World Health Organization's offer of testing kits. No, we can do it ourselves. We are the United States, after all. How'd that work out? Not all that well. "Anyone who wants to be tested can be tested," he said. That's not true either, even weeks now after he said it. As for me, I have to fight the feeling that I just want him to get COVID-19, because as bad a job as I think he's doing, I'm not like that; but every morning I wake up, usually around 4:00 in the morning, and I'm worried. I try deep breathing, meditation, scrolling through pictures of my grandsons, anything to stave away the fear. Nothing works. I imagine myself going to the hospital with no chance to say goodbye to my kids, grand-kids, mom, brothers, sisters, friends...and I never come home. I wouldn't be the first, or the last.
It's not Donald Trump's fault that this virus exists or even that it's spreading around the world. It is his fault that for too long, he ignored the experts. It is his fault that he's more excited about the ratings of his news conferences, than he is about doing his job; and it is his fault that people are dying because of his lies and his wanting to be "positive" at a time when he should have been preparing the people in this country about what was coming. Maybe you think I'm just listening to the "liberal news", and believing all the hoaxes and lies. Nope. I actually fact check. I listen to his whole speeches, not just sound bites. I hear what is coming out of his mouth and I look up his tweets to make sure someone isn't just saying those are his words. I see him bash people that he doesn't like and try to intimidate people with those tweets, and with his own words. He abuses his power by silencing reporters and then announcing that what they are asking is fake news, all the while refusing to answer the important questions. He keeps bringing up the impeachment as a hoax when he was the one who refused to release witnesses and documents. If someone is innocent, why would they be concerned about witnesses? His minions voted against removal so he thinks he's won. That's not winning. That's cheating. He fired people who spoke out against him. That's not a president, that's a dictator. If you're thinking I'm making all this up, than do a little homework. Watch another news channel. Better yet, watch a news channel from another country, They have no "agenda" to make the president look bad. They just tell it like they see it. Maybe you aren't afraid EVERY DAY that you are going to die, and die suffocating, in pain...alone because of his pettiness and incompetence.
I am.
Suddenly I'm inspired to write my poem. What do ya' know?
Tuesday, March 31, 2020
COVID-19 An Account March 31, 2020
This will be a short message since as usual I am awake much later than I should be. I tried to stay away from the news but I couldn't help myself. The strange thing is, it's all becoming just noise. I putz around my small house and it's just on. It's background sound to keep me from going crazy. (I know, too late.) Today however is March 31, which although the "Stay at home+ orders are still in effect until the end of next month, is good for another reason. Tomorrow is April 1st. No, I'm not a big fan of April Fool's Day pranks. April is National Poetry Month! The past few years have been...complicated for me, but this year I think I can pull it off. What, you ask? The April Poem a Day Challenge! Robert Lee Brewer, an editor for Writer's Digest offers prompts every day in the month of April for poets to base their poetry on. He's pretty flexible on what you do with the prompt so it's usually a lot of fun. So here I go. I'm hoping to continue here, but it might be a little less.
If you want to read my poems they will be on my poetry blog: Care Packages.
https://carenwrites.blogspot.com/
I'm hoping to find myself in a happier world.
If you want to read my poems they will be on my poetry blog: Care Packages.
https://carenwrites.blogspot.com/
I'm hoping to find myself in a happier world.
Monday, March 30, 2020
COVID-19 An Account, March 30, 2020
Today I decided to stay away from the news, and except for a few minutes this morning, I was able to. I couldn't stand to hear any more bad news. We all know it's coming. I woke up at 4;00 am, and couldn't go back to sleep. For a while I was just lying there, staring at the ceiling. I grabbed my phone. Facebook was out of the question, however I did give in. I zipped through my feed trying to skip over some of the posts, but got dragged into a few by my ever growing lack of self-control. I tried Instagram, but somehow I ended up getting a lot more ads than friendly posts. I finally ended up with Pinterest, with my endless lists of things I will never do or make. (Actually, I have made some of the recipes on there, but you know what I'm talking about.) Finally, as the sky was beginning to grow brighter, I fell back to sleep. Bill finally woke me up around 10;30. I made us breakfast, which was really lunch by the time it was ready, and then we went on with our day. Both of my boys are still working, because they have jobs that are "essential". I worry about them being out there. At first, the word was that rarely did young people get the virus, but now I've been hearing about more younger victims. My biggest fear isn't so much dying as it is dying alone or anyone in my circle dying alone. It's already been weeks since I've seen most of my family: my kids and their kids, husbands, wives, significant others (who are also my kids as far as I'm concerned). I'm also worried about my mom. I don't want anything to happen to her either. So many people in my world are in the higher risk group. I try not to worry. Worrying won't help anything and is detrimental to my health, but how do I not? It does no use to count down the days because the end keeps getting pushed farther away. Being patient isn't fun for anyone. I keep telling myself, things will get better, but will they?
Sunday, March 29, 2020
COVIC-19 An Account, March 29, 2020
A couple of days ago the death count in the United States, was about 1000. Now it's over 2000. I heard on the news, an idea that there should be a Universal DNR for COVID-19 victims. Excuse me? Not that I believe that something like that could actually happen (although nothing really surprises me anymore)but just the thought that there are those who think that way at all makes me frightened. What has happened to humankind? There are people putting such a low cost on life, as though it can be given a dollar value, or even be considered a time saving entity. Oh, I understand, that in cases of major catastophe or war, decisions must be made sometimes, on who will live or die. A constant state of triage sometimes results in necessary loses. However, to just put out a blanket ruling that says that those with the virus suddenly are worth less than anyone else is unethical at the very least, Not only that but it puts a huge responsibility on the doctors, who's promise is to "do no harm". The doctors and nurses don't want people to die, or be forced to make those decisions. Sadly, like I mentioned earlier, some feel that a strong economy is worth the sacrifice of the grandparents and other elderly citizens. Maybe those with underlying conditions (as though life hasn't been difficult enough for us), need to be willing to give their lives for the better good of the country. As they call us in "The Man in the High Castle" (Amazon series) we are "worthless eaters", but wait, they were Nazis that said that. Hmm, interesting. I pray that that's not the direction our country is moving, but I see more and more each day telling me otherwise. Sometimes hard times bring people together, sometimes whole countries are divided. Will we become the "Divided States"?
Time will tell. I hope not.
Friday, March 27, 2020
COVID-19 An Account, March 27.2020
I'm trying not to worry, but when I wake up during the night, there's little chance of going back to sleep. I didn't sleep well before, but I could go on Facebook and forget about other problems. This one is a little harder to shake. So many thoughts are racing through my head at any given moment, it's amazing I have enough coherent attention to get through the day...but on I go. One day at a time.
Map: csungis.maps.arcgis.com
COVID-19, An Account, March 26, 2020
Days have passed and the people in Washington keep promising to get us all a relief deal. While they argue about it, I'm sure there are a lot of people who have already started feeling the pinch of their absent paychecks. Of course none of the politicians need to worry about running out of food or wondering how they will pay for water and electricity. Even if they become infected, I'm sure they will continue to get paid.
As we all do the smart thing and stay home, the politicians continue to nit pick the details. Everyone agrees that it needs to be passed quickly but each side wants their own input. I understand that they don't want to pass this two trillion dollar plan without enough thought, and it does take time, but come on let's figure it out! Enough talking, we need action! At least 1000 people have already died in this country, and so far it's still hasn't remotely reached everyone in it's hellish path. Even in these early stages, the hospitals are running out of supplies and necessary equipment. Why hasn't the federal government stepped in to organize the supply and compel companies to help produce more equipment? All the money in the world won't make a difference if no one can get what they need. At the end of the movie "Titanic" when Cal is trying to bribe a member of the ship's crew, his response is something like "your money won't save you now!" It's true. I feel like we are on a sinking ship. and the government is tossing money to us. We need lifeboats!!
As we all do the smart thing and stay home, the politicians continue to nit pick the details. Everyone agrees that it needs to be passed quickly but each side wants their own input. I understand that they don't want to pass this two trillion dollar plan without enough thought, and it does take time, but come on let's figure it out! Enough talking, we need action! At least 1000 people have already died in this country, and so far it's still hasn't remotely reached everyone in it's hellish path. Even in these early stages, the hospitals are running out of supplies and necessary equipment. Why hasn't the federal government stepped in to organize the supply and compel companies to help produce more equipment? All the money in the world won't make a difference if no one can get what they need. At the end of the movie "Titanic" when Cal is trying to bribe a member of the ship's crew, his response is something like "your money won't save you now!" It's true. I feel like we are on a sinking ship. and the government is tossing money to us. We need lifeboats!!
Wednesday, March 25, 2020
COVID-19 An Account March 25, 2020
I was able to see my daughter and her husband today for a few minutes from six feet away - air hugs only. Still it was nice to see her in person. Sadly, the only contact I have with my grandsons is FaceTime. Sometimes I just want to cry after seeing them.
It seems like the virus is hitting younger people lately. The news continues to send mixed messages. President Trump thinks everything will be ready to open things up by Easter. All of the medical experts are encouraging him not to get his (or the country's) hopes up. A man I talked to while I was out walking the dog the other day told me "well, we have to go back to work at some point..." and I didn't really have a response to that. I just shrugged and said "well...yeah". Of course we have to go back to work some day, but wouldn't you rather be safe than sorry? Do you not watch the WORLD news? I'm sure Italians want to get back to work too, and make money to feed their families. No one wants to keep fighting for toilet paper forever. I think we all, though, want to stay well and alive, and make sure our parents or grandparents do also. Who are you willing to lose in order to make money. My friends and family (every one of them) are way too valuable to take a chance.
It seems like the virus is hitting younger people lately. The news continues to send mixed messages. President Trump thinks everything will be ready to open things up by Easter. All of the medical experts are encouraging him not to get his (or the country's) hopes up. A man I talked to while I was out walking the dog the other day told me "well, we have to go back to work at some point..." and I didn't really have a response to that. I just shrugged and said "well...yeah". Of course we have to go back to work some day, but wouldn't you rather be safe than sorry? Do you not watch the WORLD news? I'm sure Italians want to get back to work too, and make money to feed their families. No one wants to keep fighting for toilet paper forever. I think we all, though, want to stay well and alive, and make sure our parents or grandparents do also. Who are you willing to lose in order to make money. My friends and family (every one of them) are way too valuable to take a chance.
Tuesday, March 24, 2020
COVID-19, An Account, March 24, 2020
So yesterday I managed to get out of my house and took my dog for a walk, She was looking forlorn because she's been cooped up a lot lately herself. She's not particularly fond of rain, and I think she actually doesn't "go" very much if it's too wet outside. As soon as I pick up the leash, her little radar ears perk up and she's at my feet looking up at me like "walk?now?walk?now?now?walk?huh?let's go!!! It was good for me too. I did bump into a few people I knew, but I stayed 10 feet away - not taking any chances. We chatted a bit and then I went on my way. It was nice to get out, if only for 30 minutes or so.Today I woke up early, but lie in bed thinking, which usually is not a good thing. Today, on the other hand, I thought of something. Why, if the news in general stresses me out and/or makes me sad, do I have such a difficult time pulling myself away from it? Then I thought, In this time of fear and concern, one thing that happens as I watch the leaders of our country be completely inept as far as I'm concerned, is that I get angry. Normally being angry is a bad thing, but I'm beginning to feel like anger gets me going, makes me want to fight. Fear and sadness makes me just want to curl up in a ball and wait until it's over. In that movie (Network?) people hang out their windows and yell something like "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore!!" I feel like that. So I've gotten more outspoken about certain things. If I alienate friends who support other politics, well then...sorry not sorry. Seeing these people act like my life (or my mom's) is not as worth saving as their precious money (economy) makes me furious. How dare they? Nope, not going to be silent anymore. I'm not an "in your fac" kind of person, but if someone says something, I WILL answer.
Monday, March 23, 2020
COVID-19, An Account, March 22, 2020
Today, Mayor Garcetti announced the shut down of Los Angeles, I think including all of LA county too. Parks and beaches are closed, at least until April 19. Moving around away from home is limited to necessities. He even said there would be fines and possible jail time for offenders. Wow. Things have really become serious. What next? Martial Law?
A very sweet friend of mine mentioned that he had seen another friend who seemed offended that he didn't want to hug her in greeting. He offered a hip bump, but that didn't seem enough. The sad thing is that when you love someone, and this is difficult some times, you shouldn't expect them to always act the way you want them to, especially with what's going on. You should respect their feelings (or need) to follow the rules. Being on that high risk list myself, I'm not about to take a chance.
I recently read a first hand account of what this disease does to you, and it's horrifying. It's definitely NOT like catching an ordinary flu. As miserable as the flu might make you feel, this sounds a hundred times worse. It attacks your lungs and for days, or even weeks you could feel like you are suffocating. Then there's the high temperature in addition. I'll pass, thank you...not that I'd have a choice. Yes, you might have the milder version, but you don't always know if someone you care about has a condition and might be way more susceptible to the more serious effects. There are many chronic diseases that are "invisible", meaning there are no visible symptoms that signal a person has it. So for now everyone needs to assume that someone in their circle of family and friends might be on that high risk list.
Getting back to the subject of hugs, I do miss those...so much. I'm spoiled I guess. The majority of my family and friends hug every time we see each other. We're a huggy group. I have a huge family and lots of theater friends among others. I also have two beautiful grandsons whom I'm afraid will grow up too much while we're apart. Still, I don't want to infect them or be infected, so I have to wait for awhile. Waiting sucks, for everyone, but getting this thing...COVID-19, sucks more. So I'll wait.
A very sweet friend of mine mentioned that he had seen another friend who seemed offended that he didn't want to hug her in greeting. He offered a hip bump, but that didn't seem enough. The sad thing is that when you love someone, and this is difficult some times, you shouldn't expect them to always act the way you want them to, especially with what's going on. You should respect their feelings (or need) to follow the rules. Being on that high risk list myself, I'm not about to take a chance.
I recently read a first hand account of what this disease does to you, and it's horrifying. It's definitely NOT like catching an ordinary flu. As miserable as the flu might make you feel, this sounds a hundred times worse. It attacks your lungs and for days, or even weeks you could feel like you are suffocating. Then there's the high temperature in addition. I'll pass, thank you...not that I'd have a choice. Yes, you might have the milder version, but you don't always know if someone you care about has a condition and might be way more susceptible to the more serious effects. There are many chronic diseases that are "invisible", meaning there are no visible symptoms that signal a person has it. So for now everyone needs to assume that someone in their circle of family and friends might be on that high risk list.
Getting back to the subject of hugs, I do miss those...so much. I'm spoiled I guess. The majority of my family and friends hug every time we see each other. We're a huggy group. I have a huge family and lots of theater friends among others. I also have two beautiful grandsons whom I'm afraid will grow up too much while we're apart. Still, I don't want to infect them or be infected, so I have to wait for awhile. Waiting sucks, for everyone, but getting this thing...COVID-19, sucks more. So I'll wait.
Saturday, March 21, 2020
COVID-19 An Account, March 21, 2020
I woke up this morning wanting to look at this whole thing with a little less anger. I tried to not watch the news, because it just gets me going...all the lies. Still, I concentrated on getting some work done. Our living room was piling up with items that needed to be returned to my kids, but with the "stay at home" orders, I haven't been able to see any of them for a while. I was able to pack it all up and put it into my car for later delivery. Yesterday I made an inventory of all our food. I'm pretty sure we'll be fine for a while. That was good news. Bill and I watched episodes of Jimmy Kimmel, who was recording his show at home. It's funny to see these actors recording from home without all the glam and make-up. They are just normal people kicking back at home like you and me. Of course their homes tend to be a little larger, I'm sure, lol. I binge watched "Man in the High Castle" all the way through (over the last few days). I think I have to watch the last episode again though since I was washing dishes at the same time and am pretty sure I missed something. It was pretty good I thought.
Well, once again it's late as I write this, and I'm realizing I really should try and get some sleep. It's weird how when you don't leave the house for days, the days just blend together. Time seems irrelevant. You wake up when you want, your meals get thrown off, there's no schedule. I forget to do things when I'm supposed to. The time passes without sending signals that guide my everyday life, signals that tell me when to start making a meal or take medication. I'm not complaining by any means. It's like being on vacation, except I still have to make the bed, wash the dishes and the clothes, feed the animals, etc. Well, whatcha' gonna' do, right? I hope everyone out there finds a way to distract themselves from the craziness. It may be a while.
Well, once again it's late as I write this, and I'm realizing I really should try and get some sleep. It's weird how when you don't leave the house for days, the days just blend together. Time seems irrelevant. You wake up when you want, your meals get thrown off, there's no schedule. I forget to do things when I'm supposed to. The time passes without sending signals that guide my everyday life, signals that tell me when to start making a meal or take medication. I'm not complaining by any means. It's like being on vacation, except I still have to make the bed, wash the dishes and the clothes, feed the animals, etc. Well, whatcha' gonna' do, right? I hope everyone out there finds a way to distract themselves from the craziness. It may be a while.
COVID-19, An account, March 20, 2020
They are going to close the borders of Canada and Mexico. The world is going to be very different when all of this is over. There are estimates that 50% of Californians will be infected with the Corona Virus. Italy's death toll is growing everyday. I've heard that some countries are saying that they can't handle the number of dead, and are resorting to cremation for all the victims of the virus. This all seems so surreal. Never in a million years, did I ever picture anything like this happening.
Listening to our leadership, I was reminded of Edgar Allen Poe's story: "The masque of the Red Death". When a plague came to his kingdom, the king gathered his favorite subjects and traveled to a castle far away where they could lock themselves in and be safe. Unfortunately, diseases have no borders and are seldom "locked out". I feel like some people think they are above the rabble and they will be able to hide from this virus. It's out there. You may escape it but what about your loved ones? Gather up all your friends, but it only takes one of them to infect the whole group of you. They say with COVID-19, you could actually be contagious before you have obvious symptoms. So how do you know who has it? Good luck with that.
Meanwhile, a Senator, Senator Burr of North Carolina, upon hearing about the intensity of this illness, instead of going out and spreading the news that the country needed to prepare, ran out and sold a bunch of his stocks: 1.7 million dollars' worth. He, as well as our illustrious leader continued to report that we all had nothing to really worry about. President Trump said "I think that's a problem that's going to go away," After it was learned that maybe this thing may be worse than reported, the stock market fell disastrously; and go ol' Senator Burr is sitting pretty on all his cash while the rest of the country is out of work and struggling to pay their mortgage, rent, bills, food. People close to retirement are wondering if all their hard earned money that they invested over the years in retirement plans or 401Ks will be gone, and then what? Burr's not even the only one who's guilty of this. There were more. What pond scum! (I'm being nice.) There are those who have called on Mr. Burr to resign. Resign? He should go to jail! They sent Martha Stewart to jail. Why is he exempt?
Oh well, you can't take it with you, right Mr. Burr?
To make matters worse, President Trump continues to call it the "Chinese" virus, even though multiple people have told him that it's offensive. He's still making comments like "Because it's from CHINa! I'm sure Chinese people would be totally okay with it." Um, no. They aren't. In fact there are Asian people all over being discriminated against, as if it's their fault. Here's a dollar, Mr. President, go buy a clue.
Every day I listen to new reports describing the illness, counting the people who are in the ICU, or are dead. What a horrible thing, it alienates, isolates and inflicts pain both physical and mental. We're all separated from those we love and need in this crisis,
Worse yet, There's no end in sight.
Listening to our leadership, I was reminded of Edgar Allen Poe's story: "The masque of the Red Death". When a plague came to his kingdom, the king gathered his favorite subjects and traveled to a castle far away where they could lock themselves in and be safe. Unfortunately, diseases have no borders and are seldom "locked out". I feel like some people think they are above the rabble and they will be able to hide from this virus. It's out there. You may escape it but what about your loved ones? Gather up all your friends, but it only takes one of them to infect the whole group of you. They say with COVID-19, you could actually be contagious before you have obvious symptoms. So how do you know who has it? Good luck with that.Meanwhile, a Senator, Senator Burr of North Carolina, upon hearing about the intensity of this illness, instead of going out and spreading the news that the country needed to prepare, ran out and sold a bunch of his stocks: 1.7 million dollars' worth. He, as well as our illustrious leader continued to report that we all had nothing to really worry about. President Trump said "I think that's a problem that's going to go away," After it was learned that maybe this thing may be worse than reported, the stock market fell disastrously; and go ol' Senator Burr is sitting pretty on all his cash while the rest of the country is out of work and struggling to pay their mortgage, rent, bills, food. People close to retirement are wondering if all their hard earned money that they invested over the years in retirement plans or 401Ks will be gone, and then what? Burr's not even the only one who's guilty of this. There were more. What pond scum! (I'm being nice.) There are those who have called on Mr. Burr to resign. Resign? He should go to jail! They sent Martha Stewart to jail. Why is he exempt?
Oh well, you can't take it with you, right Mr. Burr?
To make matters worse, President Trump continues to call it the "Chinese" virus, even though multiple people have told him that it's offensive. He's still making comments like "Because it's from CHINa! I'm sure Chinese people would be totally okay with it." Um, no. They aren't. In fact there are Asian people all over being discriminated against, as if it's their fault. Here's a dollar, Mr. President, go buy a clue.
Every day I listen to new reports describing the illness, counting the people who are in the ICU, or are dead. What a horrible thing, it alienates, isolates and inflicts pain both physical and mental. We're all separated from those we love and need in this crisis,
Worse yet, There's no end in sight.
Thursday, March 19, 2020
COVID-19 An Account, March 19, 2020
Well, it's official. The State of California has officially announced a "stay at home" order. Although I normally do spend a lot of time at home, wanting to and being ordered to are totally different. I wouldn't mind, but it cuts me off from my kids and grandchildren. I miss my babies so much I want to cry. I try not to worry and keep telling myself it won't last too long, but I haven't convinced myself yet. When I watch the news I feel like I'm watching that guy that built the homemade rocket getting ready to launch into space. I'm fairly sure it's not going to end well, but I can't stop watching (and look how that worked out). Part of me struggles to be optimistic and hopes that when I turn on the new there will be some new treatment or vaccine. Unfortunately what I see or rather hear on the news is lots of talking. This is or isn't happening. The numbers are rising. We aren't prepared. Keep washing your hands. Keep calm; we'll get through this. Why aren't we prepared? Give us updates on what is actually happening. I don't care anymore about what is supposed to happen. What's the delay? People are dying, and I'd rather not be the next one, while all of you,"leaders" of our country, bumble about straightening your ties, fumbling with your pens and paper, and applying sticky red tape onto everything.
It's a helpless feeling staying put. I know it could be much worse. I hope it won't get worse.
It's a helpless feeling staying put. I know it could be much worse. I hope it won't get worse.
COVID-19, 2020 - An Account (my first few entries)
March 13th, 2020 (Friday)
It seems appropriate that I'm starting this journal on Friday the thirteenth. Although it all started earlier in the year, my decision to write about my experience happened because I started to realize the epic nature of this "event". This morning, my husband Bill told me that the Senior Center was closing until the end of the month, and all public events in our city are cancelled. It's been raining for the past few days, which here in Southern California is unusual enough. There are runs on Costco: people stocking up like the apocalypse has begun. Maybe it has.
The whole world has gone crazy, and in the United States, we are more divided than any time in my memory. I'm currently 56 years old and although I feel fairly young, I see myself becoming a cynical old woman. I don't trust anyone outside my small circle. Doctors, lawyers, politicians: they are all suspect. Everything is about money. Pharmacies influence the doctors who prescribe medications we don't need and are merely bandages.Those who produce these medications have no interest or incentive in finding cures because then, how would they rake in millions of dollars in overpriced therapeutic drugs. The lawyers defend criminals whole-heartedly as long as they have the cash or the connections. The politicians, well, they are in a class by themselves. Each one trying to claw their way out of the darkness to shine their halogen lamps. They give us a spot light view of things, glaring at the issues they have an interest in, and blinding us to others.
I'm not sure how I ended up having so little faith in people in general. I feel like the internet has made things so much (as the kids today say) "extra". Everything is so much more elevated, especially fear, and hate. It's always someone else's fault, some one is to blame; and not just one person, their entire race, culture or religion. Why? I don't understand, and don't get me wrong, I have nothing against religion and I do believe in God, but these days some religions are used for much more wrong than right. People who call themselves "righteous", continue to discriminate against anyone who is not in their group, their same color or beliefs. They quote Jesus, but seem to have missed a lot of the important things he's said.
So we are in this global crisis: a pandemic called "Corona Virus" or "COVID-19". Thousands if not millions are freaking out. Our political and medical leadership struggle to get information out without causing a panic. The problem is, inefficient information still causes panic, and from what I see, even more than usual. Of course, then there's the blaming. Who's fault is it? I don't care, just tell me what I can do. Don't tell me what you think I want to hear. What I want is truth. Give me some credit: I can handle it.
March 14, 2020
I'm sitting here in my home watching Australian news on YouTube. They are talking about the virus and how fast it spreads, and how many people will likely die. Great. Bill listens to that stuff all day. Sometimes I just need to shut it all off. I can't afford to stress out about it. Anyone with a preexisting condition (especially respiratory) or advanced age, is especially susceptible, and is more likely to die. I'm screwed. Two, almost three of these criteria fit me. Should I hide in my house and wait until it's over? Bill said he heard that the stores' supply situation should improve in the next week. That is, unless some new information comes out and everyone runs out for more. We are hoping for the best.
The writer in me wants to research all the information I can find, and yet, I know the news will only cause me anxiety. Anxiety exacerbates my M.S. and then I have problems. This issue is escalated by the fact that no news source has presented the same story. Politicians and the media twist and shape the facts to meet their needs, instead of looking out for the weakest of us. I grew up believing that that was their job, their purpose, the reason they took home a paycheck paid by our taxes. Silly me.
March 15, 2020
I have lost so much of my faith in humankind. As each day goes by, I watch the news and wonder what is coming next. Meanwhile, I see people being more polarized than ever. Who do we believe? What should we do or not do? Is it overreacting, or cautious? I think this is just the third day of voluntary quarantine. How will we get to the end of the month? What happens if we are really hit hard? Are there the necessary resources at the ready? I worry about my mom, who's 85. I think my brother and sister who live closer have been visiting and checking on her. Since I still feel a lingering bronchitis, I don't feel like I should expose her to that, even if it's much less dangerous. That's the worst thing about this virus: it's demand for isolation. People are kept away from their loved ones and in some cases, end up dying alone. Not only that, but with the numbers growing, the personal care you might otherwise receive at the doctor's office or at the hospital is bare minimum. Touch is reduced to gloved hands.
In other news...the economy is getting annihilated. No one going out means no one is spending money. It's feared that many businesses will fail. Tourism is way down everywhere. Cruise ships are anchored. Flights to and from all over the world have been cancelled. Certain countries have banned travel to others. There are United States citizens stuck in other countries, trying to get home. I can't imagine. Unfortunately because everything is connected to everything else, we could be in for some tough times. Tourists can't travel, which means planes, trains, ships, buses, what have you, can't fill the seats.The hotels can't fill the rooms. The restaurants are empty or forced to comply with spacing regulations ("social distancing"), employees are out of work, and then there's no money to spend. People are even being encouraged (strongly) not to hold weddings or funerals for a while. No gatherings of over 250 people are currently allowed, but even smaller groups are being admonished. What will happen to this already fragmented society, when human physical contact is removed? With only the internet to provide company for some, how will connections take place? Will this become "the new normal"? I pray not.
March 16, 2020
This morning I heard that the gathering limit had been lowered to 50. We're barely halfway through the day, and the new word is that it's down to 10. More and more businesses are sending their workers home, restaurants are limited to drive through and take out. I keep telling myself that everything is going to be okay, but that's getting more difficult. I miss my grand-babies; my two boys who keep me smiling even when things are bad. Face-time is great and all, but it can't replace an excited child running into your arms for a big hug.
The whole world is quarantined. Full countries of people locked in their own homes. There was a video posted somewhere showing Italians singing from their balconies and doorways. Reaching out to their neighbors in the best way they could think of. At least it was a little lighter story during a dark season,
The President spoke, encouraging Americans to stay in their houses, wash your hands, stay at least six feet away from others. He talked about financial help for anyone who is being affected by the virus, which is everyone. I heard that he turned down the World Health Federation's offer for the tests it would take to diagnose people here, so we could figure out where the biggest concentrations of virus victims are. This would help the medical community to prepare for the influx of patients. I can't tell you if this is true, I only overheard. I'm trying to filter the news as much as I can. Everyone has their own versions of the story that's unfolding. Everyone has a slant on things. I feel like the cop who says "Just the facts, ma'am. Just the facts." (Dragnet?) I hate when people say things like "You just think that, because of the media, or some political party." No...I just listen to what comes out of our president"s mouth.
March 17, 2020
It's St.Patrick's Day, and the rainbow keeps eluding me. You know, the one that comes after the rain. It just keeps raining; and the flooding and landslides are only getting worse. The news stated that in China, the virus cases have begun to decrease, Being the skeptic that I am, I find it hard to believe that the leadership of a country that hid the virus even from their own country, would be telling the truth now. These are people who are focused on making it seem like they have everything under control. So,,,yeah. Now they are trying to say that the US Military in the area must be the ones truly responsible for the virus. President Trump, instead of just denying this allegation, has begun calling it the "Chinese Virus". He's like a kid in a playground, "I know you are, but what am I?" This is really the time to be a grown up. Let's hope he rises to the occasion. I've noticed the media is trying to be less critical of him, trying not to bad-mouth him. I think that's a good thing.
People on all sides are going to have to work together. God, I hope they do. Between the hoarders (of toilet paper and hand sanitizer), the doubters, the name calling and the blaming...
I. Just. Want. TO SCREAM!
More cities in the US are shutting up tight, strongly suggesting that people stay at home and not go out except for necessities like food, medicine or toiletries.As things progress, I keep thinking that someday this will be considered to be a historical event. I just hope I'm still around to see that. I hope I still have my loved ones healthy and thriving. Meanwhile, I pray that people will stop acting out of fear and hate, 9/11 was horrible, but for a while there, we became a more united country, well aside from the racial targeting of those of middle eastern decent, and the scam charities professing to be benefiting the victims and their families....
Well, crap.
We're doomed.
March 18, 2020
"I always felt it was a pandemic, long before it was called a pandemic. So, Mr. President, were you lying when you said you were sure it would just "disappear" in April when the weather warmed up? We still haven't gotten very many tests. What has it been, two maybe three weeks? Don't get me started. I wouldn't want to interrupt any of your golf trips (not just him, other leaders as well). I'm holed up in my house trying not to touch anything or anyone, because this virus could take my life, but don't you people worry your pretty little heads.
It seems appropriate that I'm starting this journal on Friday the thirteenth. Although it all started earlier in the year, my decision to write about my experience happened because I started to realize the epic nature of this "event". This morning, my husband Bill told me that the Senior Center was closing until the end of the month, and all public events in our city are cancelled. It's been raining for the past few days, which here in Southern California is unusual enough. There are runs on Costco: people stocking up like the apocalypse has begun. Maybe it has.
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| The line for Costco before opening, in the rain. |
I'm not sure how I ended up having so little faith in people in general. I feel like the internet has made things so much (as the kids today say) "extra". Everything is so much more elevated, especially fear, and hate. It's always someone else's fault, some one is to blame; and not just one person, their entire race, culture or religion. Why? I don't understand, and don't get me wrong, I have nothing against religion and I do believe in God, but these days some religions are used for much more wrong than right. People who call themselves "righteous", continue to discriminate against anyone who is not in their group, their same color or beliefs. They quote Jesus, but seem to have missed a lot of the important things he's said.
So we are in this global crisis: a pandemic called "Corona Virus" or "COVID-19". Thousands if not millions are freaking out. Our political and medical leadership struggle to get information out without causing a panic. The problem is, inefficient information still causes panic, and from what I see, even more than usual. Of course, then there's the blaming. Who's fault is it? I don't care, just tell me what I can do. Don't tell me what you think I want to hear. What I want is truth. Give me some credit: I can handle it.
March 14, 2020
I'm sitting here in my home watching Australian news on YouTube. They are talking about the virus and how fast it spreads, and how many people will likely die. Great. Bill listens to that stuff all day. Sometimes I just need to shut it all off. I can't afford to stress out about it. Anyone with a preexisting condition (especially respiratory) or advanced age, is especially susceptible, and is more likely to die. I'm screwed. Two, almost three of these criteria fit me. Should I hide in my house and wait until it's over? Bill said he heard that the stores' supply situation should improve in the next week. That is, unless some new information comes out and everyone runs out for more. We are hoping for the best.
The writer in me wants to research all the information I can find, and yet, I know the news will only cause me anxiety. Anxiety exacerbates my M.S. and then I have problems. This issue is escalated by the fact that no news source has presented the same story. Politicians and the media twist and shape the facts to meet their needs, instead of looking out for the weakest of us. I grew up believing that that was their job, their purpose, the reason they took home a paycheck paid by our taxes. Silly me.
March 15, 2020
I have lost so much of my faith in humankind. As each day goes by, I watch the news and wonder what is coming next. Meanwhile, I see people being more polarized than ever. Who do we believe? What should we do or not do? Is it overreacting, or cautious? I think this is just the third day of voluntary quarantine. How will we get to the end of the month? What happens if we are really hit hard? Are there the necessary resources at the ready? I worry about my mom, who's 85. I think my brother and sister who live closer have been visiting and checking on her. Since I still feel a lingering bronchitis, I don't feel like I should expose her to that, even if it's much less dangerous. That's the worst thing about this virus: it's demand for isolation. People are kept away from their loved ones and in some cases, end up dying alone. Not only that, but with the numbers growing, the personal care you might otherwise receive at the doctor's office or at the hospital is bare minimum. Touch is reduced to gloved hands.
In other news...the economy is getting annihilated. No one going out means no one is spending money. It's feared that many businesses will fail. Tourism is way down everywhere. Cruise ships are anchored. Flights to and from all over the world have been cancelled. Certain countries have banned travel to others. There are United States citizens stuck in other countries, trying to get home. I can't imagine. Unfortunately because everything is connected to everything else, we could be in for some tough times. Tourists can't travel, which means planes, trains, ships, buses, what have you, can't fill the seats.The hotels can't fill the rooms. The restaurants are empty or forced to comply with spacing regulations ("social distancing"), employees are out of work, and then there's no money to spend. People are even being encouraged (strongly) not to hold weddings or funerals for a while. No gatherings of over 250 people are currently allowed, but even smaller groups are being admonished. What will happen to this already fragmented society, when human physical contact is removed? With only the internet to provide company for some, how will connections take place? Will this become "the new normal"? I pray not.
March 16, 2020
This morning I heard that the gathering limit had been lowered to 50. We're barely halfway through the day, and the new word is that it's down to 10. More and more businesses are sending their workers home, restaurants are limited to drive through and take out. I keep telling myself that everything is going to be okay, but that's getting more difficult. I miss my grand-babies; my two boys who keep me smiling even when things are bad. Face-time is great and all, but it can't replace an excited child running into your arms for a big hug.
The whole world is quarantined. Full countries of people locked in their own homes. There was a video posted somewhere showing Italians singing from their balconies and doorways. Reaching out to their neighbors in the best way they could think of. At least it was a little lighter story during a dark season,
The President spoke, encouraging Americans to stay in their houses, wash your hands, stay at least six feet away from others. He talked about financial help for anyone who is being affected by the virus, which is everyone. I heard that he turned down the World Health Federation's offer for the tests it would take to diagnose people here, so we could figure out where the biggest concentrations of virus victims are. This would help the medical community to prepare for the influx of patients. I can't tell you if this is true, I only overheard. I'm trying to filter the news as much as I can. Everyone has their own versions of the story that's unfolding. Everyone has a slant on things. I feel like the cop who says "Just the facts, ma'am. Just the facts." (Dragnet?) I hate when people say things like "You just think that, because of the media, or some political party." No...I just listen to what comes out of our president"s mouth.
March 17, 2020
It's St.Patrick's Day, and the rainbow keeps eluding me. You know, the one that comes after the rain. It just keeps raining; and the flooding and landslides are only getting worse. The news stated that in China, the virus cases have begun to decrease, Being the skeptic that I am, I find it hard to believe that the leadership of a country that hid the virus even from their own country, would be telling the truth now. These are people who are focused on making it seem like they have everything under control. So,,,yeah. Now they are trying to say that the US Military in the area must be the ones truly responsible for the virus. President Trump, instead of just denying this allegation, has begun calling it the "Chinese Virus". He's like a kid in a playground, "I know you are, but what am I?" This is really the time to be a grown up. Let's hope he rises to the occasion. I've noticed the media is trying to be less critical of him, trying not to bad-mouth him. I think that's a good thing.
People on all sides are going to have to work together. God, I hope they do. Between the hoarders (of toilet paper and hand sanitizer), the doubters, the name calling and the blaming...
I. Just. Want. TO SCREAM!
More cities in the US are shutting up tight, strongly suggesting that people stay at home and not go out except for necessities like food, medicine or toiletries.As things progress, I keep thinking that someday this will be considered to be a historical event. I just hope I'm still around to see that. I hope I still have my loved ones healthy and thriving. Meanwhile, I pray that people will stop acting out of fear and hate, 9/11 was horrible, but for a while there, we became a more united country, well aside from the racial targeting of those of middle eastern decent, and the scam charities professing to be benefiting the victims and their families....
Well, crap.
We're doomed.
March 18, 2020
"I always felt it was a pandemic, long before it was called a pandemic. So, Mr. President, were you lying when you said you were sure it would just "disappear" in April when the weather warmed up? We still haven't gotten very many tests. What has it been, two maybe three weeks? Don't get me started. I wouldn't want to interrupt any of your golf trips (not just him, other leaders as well). I'm holed up in my house trying not to touch anything or anyone, because this virus could take my life, but don't you people worry your pretty little heads.
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