Friday, May 18, 2012

"Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming.."

Those of you out there with kids, probably know where that quote comes from. Dorrie from "Finding Nemo" and I have things in common. Just ask my kids.  My short term memory is about as - wait, what was I talking about?
Dorrie does have the endearing quality of encouragement. She keeps urging on Marlin, even when he feels all hope is lost, and even when Marlin tries to push her away in frustration. I think I'm a little more like Marlin in that respect. Part of me feels like "What's the point? I'm not going to achieve my goals! Why keep trying?" I mentioned before, that I need cheerleaders. Self-encouragement is hard! Still, even on my darker days, a kind word or even just a small confirmation that someone has faith in me, brightens my day. What's great is when someone calls me, or messages me from out of the blue; someone I haven't talked to in a while. That's enough to get me going, when I find myself dragging along, or feeling defeated. I appreciate those little surprises more than I can express. That in mind, I hope that maybe I can encourage other people now and then, with a "hello" on the phone or text, or maybe a crazy blog post.  Who knows? It might be just what is needed at that very moment. Hope so.
Just keep swimming, friends...

Caren E. Salas


Friday, May 11, 2012

Tired if You Do, Tired if You Don't

I'm sure you've heard the phrase "Danged if you do, danged if you don't." (PG version) Sometimes I feel like it's a statement about my life. There are times when I feel like no matter what I do, I can't win. A neighbor friend of ours used to say "If I didn't have bad luck, I'd have no luck at all."  All of this to say that these days, just getting through the day, is a constant battle. Every time I start to notice something positive in regards to my health, something else seems to fall apart, or something I thought was gone comes back. It's frustrating. I have figured out though, that whether I go for a walk or exercise, or not, I'm pretty much wiped out at the end of the day.  So a couple of days ago I decided, that since I'm going to be exhausted come sundown in either case, I may as well go down in flames, so to speak.  I started pushing myself to go for a walk everyday, as far as I can physically go, even if it's just around the block.  The dog is, of course, thrilled to no end, because he benefits from my decision too. I take my music, my dog, and zip around the block a few times. Afterwards I'm tired, but frankly, if I didn't go I'd be...tired.  So really, this isn't too tough. Hopefully someday I'll feel great, and I'll be so used to going out everyday, it will be the norm. And if that someday never comes, at least I will be a smidge healthier than if I did nothing, and that makes it worth it. It's getting harder to say "Tomorrow will be a better day," but I hope that a better day is coming...I have to believe that it is.

Caren E. Salas

(photo by William Salas)

Monday, May 7, 2012


Just when I was thinking that I pretty much have met my quota for doctors, now I get to see someone new. Seems that in the middle of having the virus from hell, dealing with the side effects from the medications to combat said virus and coping with the usual fallout of my MS symptoms which show up any time I get sick...
what they thought was a related symptom is...not.  Apparently, I have TMJ (Temporomandibular joint disorder) If you have it, you probably aren't allowed to try and say it. I've been told not to eat anything I have to chew (wow, that sounds...bland) and not to yawn, talk much, or open my mouth wide for any reason. (Shut up, I'm not going there.)  Needless to say, I'm thrilled. Seriously. I really needed something else wrong with me.
Okay, enough whining. Good news, I guess, is maybe I can push myself to drink those diet shakes for lunch, and eat healthy alternatives...maybe. Who knows? Maybe I'll lose a few pounds. It will force me to relax (de-stress) to some extent, like it or not. Not that I have time to, of course, but I'm going to try.  Meanwhile, I did have a fairly active day, working on my garage (AKA The Black Hole) and hopefully I didn't hurt my back doing so.  I have decided to try and write here more often, so I apologize if I'm rambling, I think I just need to get back into the swing of it all.  Thank you for stopping by and wish me well...please.

Caren E. Salas


Thursday, May 3, 2012

Starting Again

Well, my sincere apologies for neglecting this blog for so long. April and November tend to be my busiest poetry months, but now the April Poem a Day challenge is over so hopefully I can pay attention to all my blogs.
I continue to struggle with my health, still feeling the residual effects of the 3 different antibiotics I was put on, and the sleep deprivation I had while I was sick.  That said, although I'm not about to jump right in where I left off, I'm not starting over either. I don't want a "do-over". My plan, actually, is to pick myself up, dust off, and continue on. I may have to limp along for a while, but I'm certainly not going back to the starting blocks. This, by the way, is my life: a constant battle of trudging uphill, tripping, falling, sometimes having to rest a bit, and then getting going again...and again....  Still, there are a lot of others with the same condition as me, who are much worse off. If I can walk, talk, see, am not dropping (too many) things, and I'm not carrying a cane or sitting in a wheelchair...I'm having a pretty darn good day.
So here I go again. Wish me luck, friends. Say a prayer. Cross your fingers. Include me in your meditations. Whatever works.  I'm just going to start by trying to walk every day a little bit, and go back to drinking lots of water. (I've never been a big water drinker, so it takes a conscious effort.) I'm just taking one step at a time, trying to be proud of my accomplishments as I go along. Who's coming with me?

Caren E. Salas

(If by any chance, you want to check out my poetry go to )