COVID-19 An Account April 8, 2020

Well, things are very different during this whole health crisis. It's so hard not talking to my family, but we recently figured out a way to all get together.  Unfortunately my two sons are both in essential jobs, so it's difficult to schedule time for group calls.  Still I do get to see my grand-babies, at least.  I know how fast they grow up at this age (they're both 3), and I wish I didn't have to miss so much of it.  So every day we go onto Messenger and do a group call. So now I've been able to see almost all my kids, which makes me happy.
I have started to alternate my YouTube viewings. I watch the news for a while, and then I switch to something funny like old "Saturday Night Live" shows, or a travel vlog, This keeps me sane.
I have other worries, like a doctor's appointment next week with a new neurologist. We recently lost our insurance and had to get new insurance. All of my doctors are now not in network.  It took me years to find the ones I had.  Neurologists especially are difficult to find. It's not that they aren't out there, but in my experience, the majority of them are older, male, arrogant jerks with no bedside manner, and even less compassion.  They think they know everything about me and my body, so just "do what I say", they tell me.  No explanation, no reasons why I should.  I am an idiot, and he's the guy with the M.D. after his name so what's my problem? I had finally found one I liked and trusted, mostly. (Honestly I trust very few doctors in general.)
I had to start again, and I didn't even get to pick really. It's an HMO, so I had to go to a new Primary Care Physician, who I just met, to give me a referral for a new neurologist.  This would be a stressful situation without the added complication of COVID-19. If I wasn't on medications that have to be refilled, I'd probably just wait.
Anywho, I've been trying to meditate, to keep my mind off things, but always it sneaks back in.  I hope you all are hanging in there. It's important that we do.

Having fun with filters.