This week started off really well. On Monday I went to the gym, determined that this would be the week I went EVERY day. As usual, my week never seems to go as planned. Especially during the summer. I have learned, as the years have gone by, that I am a schedule person. I deal with life so much better if I am (basically) forced to get up and get out of the house at a certain time. During the school year. I get up at about the same time every morning, get dressed and take my kids to school. Since I'm getting dressed anyway, it's easy to put my bathing suit and sweats on instead of jeans and a t-shirt, and then, since I'm already out and about, go to the gym. With no place that I have to go first thing in the morning, it's much easier to get distracted with other things. There's always laundry to be done, dishes to be washed, items to be checked on ebay: selling, not buying, believe it or not.
But I digress. Wow. If I had a dollar for every time I was distrac- hey, is it okay to have pizza for breakfast?
So this year, unlike my kids, I'm actually looking forward to them having to go back to school. Meanwhile I try and push myself to go swim as often as I can. especially on Tuesdays and Thursdays, when I don't have such a small window of time. You see, on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays there is a water aerobics class at 10:30 and people start piling in around 9:00-9:30 so they can stake out their spot. And don't tell me I should take that class. I don't, for three reasons: a.) I get claustrophobic with 80 other people in the same pool, especially since if I get pushed to the deep end, I can't touch the bottom. b.) It's not my thing. I just want to swim, back and forth, at my own pace. And c.) The idea of some little perky 20-something girl shouting out "encouragements" makes me want to vomit. Sorry, it's probably wrong. I can't help it. I've never been one for that whole "no pain! no gain!" and "push yourself! you can do it!" cheerleading tactic. I'm an adult. Please don't tell me what I am capable of doing. In all likeliness you have NO idea what I've gone through to get this far. I'm fully aware of what I need to do, to get to where I want to be. Give me a little credit. I understand, some people need that, and work better because of it, and hey, more power to them. Everyone is different. If my friends tell me "hey, go for it, that's awesome" that's really enough for me. If my kids ask me if I'm going swimming and say "cool," when I say that I am, that's good too. For me, it all comes down to the fact that we all have to find what works. Some people respond well to having that voice over their shoulder saying "yeah! keep going!" Some people encourage themselves and fight their inner wimp one day at a time. That's what I do. Honestly, I don't always come out on top...but I refuse to ever admit defeat. I just gather what strength I have, go back to the pool, take a deep breath, and dive back in.
I'm going to try to go a little later on today, wish me luck.
Caren E. Salas
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