Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Roller Coaster

Wow. I must apologize for my disappearance of late. This time of year is always tough with end of the school year events, and spring cleaning, and planning for the summer... Those last few marbles rolling around in my head are taxed beyond their capacity. Add to that a lovely letter from the IRS, my son getting ready to graduate from high school, and a yet un-diagnosed health issue (remember I talked about having a TMJ disorder earlier? - Turns out, that's not what it is. Great, I now know another thing it's not). It's amazing I can even function. All of this on my mind has also curbed any inkling of creativity. The only thing I've written lately is a poem about not being able to write anything. I feel like I'm riding some insane roller-coaster in space, flying off the rails aimlessly through the universe, with no control or direction. I'm afraid my air could run out at any time, and the second star to the right doesn't seem as bright as it used to. I'm not happy with the way I look, the way I feel physically, and I fight against the effects of depression every day.
Here's the encouraging part (in case you were getting worried that there wouldn't be one) I am here now. I'm writing...something, which is better than nothing. On the wild roller-coaster in space which is my life, I am back on the rails, having plummeted straight down and circling around a bit I'm heading back up. The ride is far from over of course. The clicking of the track reminds me that what goes up, usually comes back down. In the back of my mind I'm waiting for the next drop, but for now I can relax a little. I don't know if tomorrow will be a better day, but I will tell myself that it will be. That gets me through each day.
Whatever works, huh?

Caren E. Salas

Photo: "Roller Coaster At Night" by Fionnrua

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